We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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