can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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