saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
