He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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