I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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