We won't sleep together?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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