You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
