rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
