right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
