btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
