what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
