next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
two words: eviction party
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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