roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
