there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
its liver damage thursday
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