so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
