Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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