We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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