Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

Why did you send me a picture of a dick?

(630): View more from Illinois

It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.

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(956): View more from Texas

If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?

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(847): View more from Illinois

All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college

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(201): View more from New Jersey

just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.

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(419): View more from Ohio

Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.

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(302): View more from Delaware

Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate

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(330): View more from Ohio

Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?

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(803): View more from South Carolina

On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror

(251): View more from Alabama

If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that

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