this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
