woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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