I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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