i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
