it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
