Kiss
Puke
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
And the cops told us we were all naked.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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