you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
