I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Even my vagina gasped.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
