The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
