I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
