I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
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