why didn't you poke me back
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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