i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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