On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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