DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
