this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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