sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
