I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
