i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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