dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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