the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
