i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
