Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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