So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I want to fling myself into the sun
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
