The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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