It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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