She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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