peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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