I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
