The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
