I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
