I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
