i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I just found a bag of teeth...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
