she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
