names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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