Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
