butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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