i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
