I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
There's always time for handjobs
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
