so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize