Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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