Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
