I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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