their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You should frame my arrest warrant.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
