His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
