one word: firstdatebathroomanal
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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