You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize