i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
