dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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