I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
her facebook's as public as her vagina
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
