I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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