why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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