Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
