He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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