he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
